A Decade of Expanding Horizons and Growth
7 min readJan 2, 2020
A carryover from the 00s to the 10s was an internal focus on recognizing the good in my life. For much of my teens and early adult life, negativity consumed my thoughts and actions. Once practices of mindfulness and tracking positive events became (mostly) routine, the negativity got ratio’d — as the saying goes these days.
The last 10 years have been incredible. Getting married, graduating law school, getting licensed, and getting published in a medical journal are the touchstones.
I see life as a passageway, with no fixed beginning or destination. We tend to focus on the destination all the time and forget about the in-between spaces.
- Do Ho Suh, Architect
It’s important to set goals and know where you want to go. But maybe even more important is to reflect on the experiences between those accomplishments that brought you both joy and understanding of your journey and the world you share with others.
Here are some of my most enlightening moments of the last decade and why some of them matter …
2010
- Proposed to Marie-Elaine — She said, oui!
- M-E and I moved into the “pink house” in Vermillion. There’s a little lore with this house in the small college town.
- Completed my first year at the University of South Dakota School of Law.
2011
- Completed second year of law school.
- Marie-Elaine and I got married — honeymooned in Newport, RI.
- Worked as summer associate at Gunderson Palmer in Rapid City
- Took Jefferson the Beagle home.
- Bought first house with M-E in Vermillion.
- Spent Christmas and New Years in Montreal and Quebec City. Travel would soon become a major part of our lives.
- Marie-Elaine got tenure at the University of South Dakota.
2012
- Graduated law school with a JD/MA from the University of South Dakota School of Law. Seven years earlier I was arrested for a fifth DUI. Addiction, depression, and anxiety drove me through hell and back for more than 12 years. Overcoming that DUI and my mental health issues made room to find my purpose and thrive in life.
- Passed the South Dakota Bar Exam — first try!
- Started work at Face It TOGETHER. My goal through law school was to work as a public defender. The character and fitness process for licensure, however, was a long challenge that put practicing law on hold. Getting to Face It TOGETHER was serendipitous. I’ve never looked back.
- Began development of the Recovery Capital Index (RCI). The RCI is an instrument I developed to subjectively measure addiction wellness and overall wellbeing.
2013
- Attended a practice round at The Masters. Golfers understand why this is included.
- Four-hour hearing before the South Dakota Board of Bar Examiners. Family, friends, and colleagues helped craft an argument that someone who overcomes addiction and mental illness, can and should be permitted to practice law.
- Swore the Oath of Attorney in the same courtroom and with the same judge that sentenced me in 2005. This room changed my life.
2014
- Gave a TEDx Talk in Sioux Falls, SD. Forever grateful to Hugh Weber for inviting me to give this talk. The central theme around ecosystems of good was a kernel of a thought then but is something I plan to work more with in coming months and years.
- Applied for the Bush Foundation Fellowship — rejected.
- Traveled to Cortona and Rome, Italy. Member of our traveling party got engaged upon arriving at our villa in Cortona. Is there anything more magical? Keep reading. This was my first time in Europe and it was transformation is many ways. I did not know it at the time, but it lit a flame for travel.
2015
- Traveled to Ft. Lauderdale, FL to visit the in-laws and went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Amusement parks are essential for maintaining a youthful attachment to life.
- Awarded the Bush Foundation Fellowship after applying for a second time. Much thanks to Lars Leafblad for his encouragement and guidance. The Bush Fellowship was a gift that continues to reward.
- Traveled (back) to Cortona and to Paris. The couple that got engaged in Cortona decided that they should get married where the magic happened. Storybook, really. Marie-Elaine performed during the wedding and we detoured to Paris before coming home. Nothing better than having a french-speaking wife to lead you around Paris.
2016
- Traveled to Washington, DC. Explored the District but the true highlight was visiting Monticello and Poplar Forest — the homes of Thomas Jefferson. I’m a Jefferson nerd and this was a big bucket list trip.
- After commuting 120 miles a day for work, we decided to get an apartment in Sioux Falls. The driving was doing damage to my back and my mental health. Fortunately, my wife and I are independent and have a lot of focus for our work. This arrangement proved to be a trial balloon for what was to come.
- It was a great honor and privilege to be included in the retirement program for Judge Trandahl. She gave more than 20 years as a circuit judge in South Dakota. Her impact on jurisprudence, civics, and community are immeasurable and her impact on my life is priceless.
- M-E and I traveled to San Francisco for the sole purpose of doing a 5-day silent retreat at Spirit Rock. This was a very challenging experience and I must get back again soon.
2017
- Traveled to Iceland for the Social Progress Imperative conference. This trip was important for two reasons: 1) The Social Progress Index was a key influence for the Recovery Capital Index; and 2) I would spend the last 5 weeks of the Bush Fellowship traveling in Iceland and Denmark.
- Traveled to Copenhagen for 4-weeks to both work remotely and to reconcile the 2-year Bush Fellowship. During the trip, I studied happiness in Denmark and met with Meik Wiking, CEO Happiness Research Institute. You can read about my Fellowship learnings here, here, here, here, here, and here.
- Traveled to Brussels then to London, Amsterdam, back to Copenhagen, then to Skagen, Denmark. At the end of my Fellowship time, I met Marie-Elaine in London for our anniversary. Our goal, however, was to spend time in Skagen, Denmark, the northernmost point of Denmark. I will return to Skagen for the rest of my life.
- Marie-Elaine accepted position at the Crane School of Music, SUNY Potsdam. M-E moved to Potsdam, NY and I remained in Sioux Falls. The trial of living apart a few days a week prepared us for this much longer and more distant seperation.
- Began exploring expansion of Face It TOGETHER to Denver, CO.
2018
- Moved to Denver, CO for launch of Face It TOGETHER.
- Lead author of peer-reviewed journal article describing validation of Recovery Capital Index was published in South Dakota Medical Journal.
- Face It TOGETHER opens addiction management center in Denver, CO.
- Maternal grandmother passed away.
- We bought our house in Potsdam, NY.
- Traveled to Paris and Copenhagen for Christmas and New Years vacation. If you’re picking up on a theme or some traveling favorites … thanks for paying attention.
2019
- Traveled to Iceland to attend Social Progress Imperative conference for a second time. The United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) are mostly foreign in the U.S. However, the SDGs are a brilliant framework for mapping problems, solutions, and progress.
- Completed the Harvard Medical School Executive Education course in Leading Digital Transformation in Health. A privilege to learn from Dr. John Halmka, Micky Tripathi, Dr. John Torous, and many others.
- Paternal grandmother passed away.
- Along the way, we got a Peloton and after moving to Colorado got the road bike out. It’s been a joy exploring the outskirts of Denver by bike. The cycling culture is hardcore in CO.
Putting It All Together
We are all travelers in our own right. Whether it’s over geographies or time, the distances and depths may be unique and shape our experiences. How we process our experiences form our memories. All of this guides our decisions and paths for the future.
Breath the moments. Take joy. Be Well.
